Rediscovering Hope in the Face of Loss
I have started this new weekly newsletter – The Almanack of Good Life – to share all that I am reading and reflecting upon about living a good life. It’s a new attempt, but I hope to take this far. In this age of constant information overload, I’ve found immense value in taking time to pause and reflect upon meaningful insights about life. This newsletter is my way of sharing that journey with you.
Each week, I’ll curate a selection of thought-provoking ideas, inspiring quotes, and practical wisdom I’ve encountered in my readings and personal reflections. My goal is to create a space for us to explore together what it means to live with purpose, kindness, and fulfilment. I look forward to your kind support.
Rediscovering Hope in the Face of Loss
There is a story, not often told, in Mahabharata where the eldest of the Pandavas, Yudhishthira, comes upon a lake and finds that his brothers lay dead on its banks.
Before beginning the search into his brothers’ murder, the prince in exile finds himself burning with thirst and reaches into the lake to drink, not knowing that it was drinking from the lake that brought his brothers’ end.
At that moment a celestial appears, a Yaksha, no god or angel but instead a presence of power presiding over the lake. The Yaksha warns Yudhisthira not to drink lest he suffers the fate of his brothers.
He has an alternative: Yudhisthira can instead answer Yaksha’s questions. There are said to be eighteen questions that Yaksha asked Yudhisthira, but here is the one that concerns what I am writing today.
Yaksha asks, “What is the greatest wonder?”
To this, Yudhisthira replies, “Each day death strikes, and we live as though we were immortal. This is the greatest wonder.”
I remembered the above anecdote while reading this beautiful poem credited to the American author Henry Van Dyke, titled “Gone From My Sight.”
The poem talks about death in a unique way, by using the image of a ship sailing away –
I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and startsfor the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speckof white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.
Then, someone at my side says, “There, she is gone.”
Gone where?
Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,hull and spar as she was when she left my side.And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me — not in her.
And, just at the moment when someone says, “There, she is gone,”there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voicesready to take up the glad shout, “Here she comes!”
And that is dying…
Such a comforting way to think about death, isn’t it?
Instead of picturing death as an ending, the poem asks us to see it as a kind of journey. The person we have lost is not gone forever; they have just sailed to a place we cannot see yet.
I first came about this poem sitting next to my dying father in 2019, and it helped while I was grieving for him. It reminded me that even though we cannot see or touch the person we have lost anymore, they are still out there somewhere. Their journey is continuing, just in a different way.
The poem also offers a beautiful perspective that there might be more to death than what we can see from our limited viewpoint. From our point of view on the shore, we see the ship getting smaller and disappearing. But if we were on the ship, we would see something totally different, like new horizons opening up in front of us.
For people left behind, the ones standing on the shore, watching the ship sail away, with the sadness of saying, “She is gone!” it offers hope, suggesting that one day, we will all make that same journey, and maybe we will be reunited with those we have lost.
This poem is one of those texts that has brought about a paradigm shift in how I see death and dying – now not as something scary or final but as a natural part of a bigger journey.
Of course, it does not take away the sadness of losing someone, but offers a consolation that might make that loss a little easier to bear.
And, maybe, it is asking us to make the most of our time “on shore” before we set sail ourselves.
The next time you are at the ocean, and you see a ship sailing away, maybe you will think of this poem. And maybe, just maybe, it will help you see life and death in a new light.
By the way, one of the most beautiful children’s books I have read about death is Cry, Heart, But Never Break. Get a copy, and then read it to your child. It’s uplifting.
What I’m Reading
Parenting Advice from Warren & Charlie
As parents, we often ask, then ask again, and ask again our kids to do something we desire they do. And if we are lucky, our kids cooperate after the fourth or fifth request or after a loud but otherwise harmless scolding. We complain that our kids never listen to us, and ask other parents how they get their kids to behave, eat healthy food, and go to sleep on time. If that’s not all, we consult the Internet and several books on bringing up well-cultured and disciplined children. Then, even as we apply all those techniques, our kids just don’t listen.
But, amidst all this, there’s something we often fail to notice with our kids. Even when they are not listening to us, they are busy observing us.
I have often noticed this with my kids. They would often not listen to what I have to tell them. But they would always be observing my actions. And that keeps me on my toes, simply because my kids are ‘watching’ me.
I found this thought reiterated in this wonderful book I am reading for the third time – Peter Bevelin’s All I Want to Know is Where I’m Going to Die So I’ll Never Go There. Here is an excerpt from that book where Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger, in conversation with a seeker of wisdom, share with him the best method of training children…
If you haven’t picked up this book, I suggest you do. It’s one of the best investments in seeking wisdom you would ever make.
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Possessing Vs Pursuing
I believe our lives are not defined by what we possess, but by what we pursue. History has ample proof that it is not what people (like Alexander and Hitler) have tried to possess, but what people (like Einstein and Gandhi) pursued that brought meaning to their lives and to those around them.
“I enjoy life,” Seneca said, “because I am ready to leave it.”
In his book On the Shortness of Life, he wrote –
As far as I am concerned, I know that I have lost not wealth but distractions. The body’s needs are few: it wants to be free from cold, to banish hunger and thirst with nourishment; if we long for anything more we are exerting ourselves to serve our vices, not our needs.
Imagine if we can unburden ourselves of 90% of our worldly goods, it should not be difficult to leave the remaining 10% behind. No?
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What I’m Thinking
True wealth is not about money. It is about the richness of our experiences, the depth of our relationships, and the peace we find within ourselves.
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We often chase happiness, but what if it is not something to be caught? What if it is already within us, waiting to be uncovered by living authentically and embracing both joy and sorrow?
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Time seems to speed up as we age. But what if we could slow it down by being fully present in each moment? There might be a whole lifetime in a single day if we learn to truly live it.
Book Recommendation
The first book I ever read cover to cover, back sometime in 2001, was The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. It’s a simple story on the surface, but is packed with insights about life, purpose, and personal growth.
The book follows a young shepherd named Santiago who dreams of finding treasure in Egypt. His journey takes him across deserts and continents, but what he finds along the way is far more valuable than any physical treasure.
What makes this book special is how it weaves life lessons into an engaging story. It’s not preachy or complicated, but feels like you are discovering these truths alongside Santiago.
It talks about following your dreams, listening to your heart, and recognizing the omens life sends your way.
One of the big ideas in the book is what Coelho calls your “Personal Legend,” which is like your life’s purpose. The book suggests that the universe conspires to help you achieve this destiny if you are brave enough to pursue it. This idea that we are not alone in our struggles, that the world wants us to succeed, is such a comforting thought!
Another thing I love about this book is how it encourages us to be present and appreciate the journey. Santiago learns that the treasure he seeks is not always what he thinks it is, and that sometimes the real riches are in the experiences we have and the people we meet along the way.
What is great about The Alchemist is that you can read this book at different stages of your life and get something new out of it each time. It is the kind of book that grows with you. I picked it up again recently after Bogumil Baranowski mentioned it in my podcast with him.
If you have not read it yet, or even if you have and it has been a while, give The Alchemist a try. It might just change the way you look at your own life’s journey.
Quotes I am Reflecting On
Let us prepare our minds as if we’d come to the very end of life. Let us postpone nothing. Let us balance life’s books each day … The one who puts the finishing touches on their life each day is never short of time.
– Seneca
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The question is not ‘can you reason?’ or ‘can you talk?’ but ‘can you suffer?’
– Jeremy Bentham
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Be as simple as you can be; you will be astonished to see how uncomplicated and happy your life can become.
– Paramahansa Yogananda
That’s all from me for today.
Let me know your thoughts on this issue of The Almanack of Good Life newsletter, and ways I can improve it. Also, if you have ideas or resources you think I can share in future letters, please email them to me at vishal[at]safalniveshak[dot]com.
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Thank you for your time and attention.
~ Vishal
