Things to Talk About! Dave Grohl Secret Baby, Deepika and Ranveer Real Baby, What I’ve Learned Spending Time With Small Children

I’m trying to get through my second to last day at this job and the best distraction is cheesy gossip. Join me!

Dave Grohl Baby Announcement

I had no idea who Dave Grohl was, but my friends say he is a famous band person and has been for decades. What I have gathered from recent coverage is that he’s also one of those famous “regular guy” rockstars. There’s a surprisingly large number of them when I think about it, the ones who regularly come out with amazing music, sell out tours, etc. etc. But got married in their twenties or early thirties and seem to have a stable private family life when they are home from tour. Oooo! This is kind of connected to what Shahrukh always says, that Indian movie stars are like American rock stars! That level of INSANE fame, you either just go insane in your whole life and lose touch with reality, or you consciously divide your life into Crazy Touring, and then sane stable parent teacher conferences at home.

Anywho, Dave Grohl apparently is one of those “famous, great musician, and also isn’t it nice that he’s been married for 20 years and an involved husband and father? Isn’t it nice to see someone CHOOSING a regular life when they are a rockstar and could be/do anything?” And then earlier this week he put this out on instagram BLEW IT ALL UP:

On the one hand, booooooooooooooo! He says he “broke trust” so clearly whatever the details of his private relationship with his wife, it did NOT include having a baby with another woman. And he’s a “nice guy”, he’s not one of those “crazy celebrity” types where we wouldn’t bat an eye. On the other hand, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Good on him for not just acknowledging but WELCOMING this child into his life, for not trying to deny or pay off or anything. I wish every man who is told they are going to have an unexpected and inconvenient child would react like this. It’s not the baby’s fault that your life is gonna get messy, and the baby needs you to step up and love them and show them you love them.

I was talking about this with my coworkers (as I said, stressful week) and here’s the two questions I landed on from that conversation: First, one of my coworkers reacted with “see, there are no nice guys! this proves every man who can cheat, will”. I don’t like that. Because it gives the cheaters an out, right? They can’t help it, everyone does it, blah blah blah. So maybe that’s an argument for keeping this secret? Because as a public figure, you have an obligation to show the world that they CAN be better? Is that a legitimate justification for hiding your truth?

Second question, the twin argument to the “all man do it” is “women don’t”. But, see, I’m pretty sure through out history women HAVE. It’s just that it’s way WAY easier to hide it. First, if Dave Grohl was a woman, she could tell her husband and the public “what a whacky wonderful surprise, my husband and I are pregnant with a surprise baby!” Even vasectomies have a small margin of error, it would be really REALLY hard for a husband to be sure it isn’t his child. The other part of that is, whoever the other parent really was, they would just never know. How can you know if your girlfriend slept with her husband the same week as you? Or even know for sure the timing of the pregnancy, that’s something only she can know for sure and she can just lie to you? Even if you did know this might be your baby, the options for successfully proving parenthood are way more limited for a man than a woman. You’d have to hire a lawyer, wait for the baby to be born, get a DNA test, etc. etc. All while the celeb is doing everything possible to block you.

Oh, and it’s also like alcoholism! Stick with me here. A man, through out history, has been more of a public figure. So people out in the world notice him slurring his words, drinking a lot, falling over, etc. A woman is home. She is more likely to drink in secret, to be able to retreat to her bedroom, to just not be noticed. Same with an extramarital affair. A man has to meet someone in a hotel room, risk being seen, etc. etc. A woman just has a friend over to her house for the afternoon. No one notices. I feel like I’ve read an article about this coming out with the new DNA testing tools, folks discovering that out of 7 kids in a family, one of them had a different father and no one ever suspected. So yeah, I think the answer is “men and women both cheat equally, but not all men or women cheat whether or not they have the opportunity and it isn’t an excuse for breaking trust”.

Next thing! Deepika and Ranveer had a daughter!

Dips and Ranveer, and Varun and Natasha, have both chosen to announce the birth and the gender but not the name. I wonder why that is? Is it just a need to keep something special and private for as long as possible in this precious time? Is it a fear of the public judging their name because of the social/religious/ethnic meaning names have in India? Is it something almost superstitious about feeling like you are keeping your baby safer if no one knows it’s name and can bring bad wishes on it? What do you think?

Small Children Knowledge Gained

I’ve spent the past month off and on with a variety of small children. It’s been GREAT!!! I’ve learned that two year olds have adorable tiny voices, and NO enunciation skills. You have to put spaces between words! I don’t know that “wehba” is “where ball” if there is no SPACE! Oh, and they also have the memory of gnats, which is great. Fall down, bonk, cry, see a sparkling thing, forget.

I’ve learned that 5 year olds, if anything, enunciate too clearly. And loudly. They need a volume knob on their sides. Also, that they are really horrible at lying. “Did you throw your trash away?” “yes [big pleased grin]” “Really?” “No [grin goes away]”.

And I’ve learned that at least one 6 year old will just tell you what to do for hours while you play with her. I lost any vague sense of authority I ever had pretty early on. And I really don’t understand the game we were playing? The door had a magic lock and also we could turn into the stuffed animals we were holding and also there was a Light Fairy we had to defeat (or rescue? Not sure). The biggest challenge was that she really wanted me to fight her and chase her (because she needed to get the wriggles out), but I am 5 times as big as her. So I’m not actually going to wrestle/hit her. Very tricky balance to work out.